


You didn't say it enough

by Polyhexian



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person, This is right after Dominus dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24805792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: You have seen his face every day for millions of years now, and yet, suddenly, he looks different, ever fragile but suddenly breakable, even by your tiny hands. You run your fingers over the sides of his helm and rememorize every groove and scratch in the surface, paint bubbles and weld marks, like they're new, like you've never catalogued them before."I'm sorry," you say, so quietly you think for a moment you didn't even say it at all.
Relationships: Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	You didn't say it enough

You have seen his face every day for millions of years now, and yet, suddenly, he looks different, ever fragile but suddenly breakable, even by your tiny hands. You run your fingers over the sides of his helm and rememorize every groove and scratch in the surface, paint bubbles and weld marks, like they're new, like you've never catalogued them before.

"I'm sorry," you say, so quietly you think for a moment you didn't even say it at all. 

"Why are you apologizing to _me?_ " his voice cracks, staticcy with misery. His vocalizer always does this, he gets upset and it comes out like a bad radio connection, fuzzy and popping. " _I'm_ sorry."

"Don't," you say, because it's the only thing you can't say. You can't think about it. You can't think about him yet. All you can think is that _this_ is your Conjunx, _this_ is the mech you are with. You lost _him_ a long time ago. You love the mech in your arms and he doesn't know that.

"I'm sorry," he says again, almost a whisper, hands on your back. You don't even know what he's apologizing for, specifically. There's so much he could be.

"You apologize too much," you say, moving your hands to run along the seams of his faceplate mask, where the metal folds into plating, along the diversity that hide the mechanisms that pull it back. It stays shut. "You always say things when you're upset that you don't mean, but I never thought… I never thought you believed it."

"I'm sorry," he says, again, and maybe it's the only thing he knows how to say when he's this upset. He is sorry. He doesn't even know for what but he is.

"You really think I don't love you?" you ask, fingers along his jaw, "That I wouldn't pick you?" 

"I don't blame you," he says, visor dim, "I knew what I was getting into from the start. I knew I would never be him."

"You've really believed that? All this time?" your fingers trace the outside edges of his visor, where the glass chips in the way you remember where his intake mask nudges it while it opens. 

"It's okay," he says again, "I don't blame you. I can live with it."

"Shut up," you say, palms on the side of his helm, "I love you. I love you most. I love you more than anything. You aren't second best, you aren't number two, you are my everything. I have you. I choose you. I've chosen you." 

"But you could have had _him_ ," he says, forehead against yours, "I'm _sorry_."

"I had him," you said, cupping his face, "I _have_ you. You are enough for me, Chromedome, you have always been enough. I'm so sorry I made you think you weren't." 

"I _want_ you to be happy," he says, "I'm not a good person, Rewind, I've _done_ things, I just want to do one good thing for _you_ , and I fucked it up-"

"Fuck good people," you hiss, tightening your grip on the sides of his helm, "Fuck good and bad, fuck what you deserve or don't. Fuck every single thing you've done. I don't care about _any_ of that. You're mine. You're mine and I love you and I chose you and I'll choose you again and again and again," you mash your faceplates together, messy, clanging metal, but you _need_ the closeness, "Don't be sorry. Don't regret that I get to keep you."

He balks like he wants to apologize again and doesn't know what else to say instead and so he just tightens his grip, vocalizer static getting worse, but he's not apologizing anymore, and that will have to be enough.

"I don't say it enough," you whisper, "I love you. I love you. I love you. I'll tell you as many times as I have to until you believe it. I love you. I _love_ you." 


End file.
